Relationships

So there's about 3 weeks left until I finally turn sixteen. Scary, right? But, with this in mind, I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God and how it's changed so much since this time last year. Looking back, I've seen exactly how God had moved in my life even when I wasn't aware of it. And all of His actions has led me to become who I am today, led me to trust Him far more than I ever imagined I could.

Only my close friends would remember this, some probably don't even know, but at the beginning of my ninth grade year, I actually had a boyfriend. Although I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend now. We were really just friends that thought a relationship could work and called each other "boyfriend"/"girlfriend". We never even got to talk most of the time when we were "dating". Now, I hadn't approached this relationship in the most christian way possible. I mean, I didn't flirt or try to tempt the guy (all of you know I wouldn't do that! I'm much too shy), but I didn't pray to God about whether this would be right for me or whether it was in His plans for me. All in all, I probably pursued the relationship much more than I should have. Well, obviously it didn't work out. I came to realize that this wasn't what a relationship should be like and that God probably wasn't very enthusiastic about us dating then, so I prayed to God for strength and confirmation that I was making the right choice before calling up my boyfriend and explaining to him that our relationship just wasn't working out and that it would be better to remain just friends. It hurt to do that. I knew I was making the right choice, but I really hated that I might be hurting someone in the process. But now, I realize that God was trying to teach me how NOT to approach a relationship and that He was telling me that I just wasn't ready at that time.

God was right (big surprise? no, not really). From the experiences I've had in just these past two or three weeks, I KNOW that I wasn't ready. God wants us to fall passionately in love with Him first, to put Him first in our hearts and trust Him with everything in our lives. He wants us to realize how important and beautiful we are to Him, and not focus on what that one person you like thinks. Contrary to what we think, no human relationship can complete us. Only God can and only God can make us truly happy. The more in love with God we fall, the more we start to love ourselves and others. He wants us to experience this happiness and this completeness in Him that no human relationship can provide.

I'm turning sixteen in about three weeks. Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. But I'm just fine with that. God is moving in great ways within me, and when God feels the time is right then I am confident that He lead me into the type of healthy, loving relationship that He intends for us to experience.

In other news... the song "How He Loves" from the David Crowder Band has been stuck on repeat all day, whether on my ipod, computer, or even in my head. There's just something in this song that calls out to a part of me. It's an amazing song! One last thing: any prayer requests? :)

-allie