Who am I, that You should use me Lord? I am not clean, I am not blameless, I am unworthy. I don't know any Bible verses, or worship songs. All I know is that I am here. There is no way that You could use someone like me.
You know who you are? You, my dear friend, are a beloved child of God and a powerful tool in His kingdom. Sadly though, I feel that many of us underestimate ourselves and think along the lines that this blog opened with. I have heard so many people say, especially when we're on the topics of missions and burdens, that they don't think that Christ can use them. That they aren't...how to put this... religious enough? And hearing this breaks my heart because I know that the Lord has huge plans for them already. Just look at the first missionary that Jesus sent out. You would think that he would be a man full of Godly wisdom and someone who would know the gospels by heart, right? Haha, well, as always, Jesus is full of surprises. He sends out a man, who had previously been possessed by a demon named Legion, to witness to his village (Mark 5:1-20). Yeah. Jesus comes to this village, heals this man, and then sends him to go be a missionary in his village immediately after. I bet you anything that the man didn't gain some vast well of godly knowledge within that short period of time. And yet God still used him to spread the Word. How much more would the Lord be able to use You then?
I've lately had the pleasure of reading "I Would Die for You" by Brent and Deanna Higgins about their son BJ. BJ lived an incredible, but short life of 15 years. He accepted Christ in elementary school. He started witnessing in second grade. How prepared do you think he was? How prepared do you think you would have been? How prepared do you think you are now?
My point is that God can use anybody. You don't have to be the most "spiritual" person in the world. In fact, sometimes it's better if you aren't "spiritual", but rather just authentic. When the Lord first used me, I was struggling with depression and insecurity, and I was definitely NOT in a good place with God. But He still used me. What makes you think that He can't use you as well?
Matthew 9:37-38
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Hello Again
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I haven't completely recovered myself, and I'm still very much afraid of taking all of the encouragement and compliments straight to my ego once more, but maybe the fear will help me be more aware of how I accept things so I think I'm about ready to try this again. So for right now, I'll give you a quick summer update with more details to come at a later time.
Well, at the moment I'm in Ohio with my family for the first time in.....ummm..... a while. It's been awesome to see my family again and catch up with them, to enjoy the soft, northern grass that Texas lacks (along with cool summers. I can't say that I'm missing the 100+ heat that Texas offers to me.) I love being able to come up here and see my family. But it has been difficult for me to adjust to. Right before coming up here, I came home from spending two weeks in Baja, Mexico with the most amazing team I have ever met. The Lord blessed me with a chance to serve with them and I am extremely grateful! Two weeks of being completely surrounded by this team and their love and encouragement, and then two days after we got home I came up here to Ohio where I have no one close to my age to hang out with. Texting has been cut to a minimum (I'm still getting used to being able to do that again, but I'm trying to cut down on it anyways) and my two younger, boy cousins just aren't interested in talking as opposed to their Star Wars video games and legos. *Sigh*. It's times like these where the loneliness of being an only child really hit hard. Don't get me wrong. I love my family immensely! It's just been hard to adjust to being kind of alone after my mission trip.
To be honest with you all, I've been having trouble ever since I got to Ohio. Mostly due to my own limited understanding as a human. One of my best friends lent me some books for the trip, all of which I've enjoyed and been challenged by in some way or another. But something has been bothering me as I read them. I don't know what it is, but I feel that it's important for me to understand. Unfortunately, as I've been searching for it and trying to tap into it, I've been unable to comprehend what I'm searching for even in the slightest. It's like I'm hitting a brick wall every way I turn and I'm starting to get desperate because of it. If anyone reading this could pray for me, I would be extremely grateful.
But even with the trouble I've had, God has been good to me. Like I said, I've been mostly alone up here in Ohio and have had a LOT of freetime I usually can't find to read the Bible and read the books that my friend lent me. The Lord has blessed me with this time not only to read but also to process the amazing trip that He let me go on. Also, my family took a day to go up to Cedar Point, probably for the last time before I graduate. My goal was to ride all of the roller coasters that I had not yet ridden after the many MANY summers we've spent up there (which I did complete. Took me sixteen years, but I've finally finished up my Cedar Point list, including the fearsome Top Thrill Dragster). But while we were in line for one of the coasters, the Lord once again blessed me in the form of two college aged girls standing behind me. They were wearing shirts for a mission trip they took to Kentucky, so I asked them where they went for their trip and that started a conversation about mission trips and church that lasted a good hour or so. They were from Michigan, and the two of them had actually just met a few weeks ago on their mission trip. Funny how Christ can lead us to our brothers and sisters in completely unexpected ways. We're now facebook friends.
So the Lord has been good to me. I am grateful for all He's done for me and continues to do. I can't believe that summer is almost over. I'll be a junior this year... scary scary thought. But also very exciting. I pray with all my heart that the Lord blows me away this year and gives me the boldness I need to continue stepping out of my comfort zone at school, church, and even at home. More details about my mission trip and trip to Ohio are to come. God bless you all. Any prayer requests?
Well, at the moment I'm in Ohio with my family for the first time in.....ummm..... a while. It's been awesome to see my family again and catch up with them, to enjoy the soft, northern grass that Texas lacks (along with cool summers. I can't say that I'm missing the 100+ heat that Texas offers to me.) I love being able to come up here and see my family. But it has been difficult for me to adjust to. Right before coming up here, I came home from spending two weeks in Baja, Mexico with the most amazing team I have ever met. The Lord blessed me with a chance to serve with them and I am extremely grateful! Two weeks of being completely surrounded by this team and their love and encouragement, and then two days after we got home I came up here to Ohio where I have no one close to my age to hang out with. Texting has been cut to a minimum (I'm still getting used to being able to do that again, but I'm trying to cut down on it anyways) and my two younger, boy cousins just aren't interested in talking as opposed to their Star Wars video games and legos. *Sigh*. It's times like these where the loneliness of being an only child really hit hard. Don't get me wrong. I love my family immensely! It's just been hard to adjust to being kind of alone after my mission trip.
To be honest with you all, I've been having trouble ever since I got to Ohio. Mostly due to my own limited understanding as a human. One of my best friends lent me some books for the trip, all of which I've enjoyed and been challenged by in some way or another. But something has been bothering me as I read them. I don't know what it is, but I feel that it's important for me to understand. Unfortunately, as I've been searching for it and trying to tap into it, I've been unable to comprehend what I'm searching for even in the slightest. It's like I'm hitting a brick wall every way I turn and I'm starting to get desperate because of it. If anyone reading this could pray for me, I would be extremely grateful.
But even with the trouble I've had, God has been good to me. Like I said, I've been mostly alone up here in Ohio and have had a LOT of freetime I usually can't find to read the Bible and read the books that my friend lent me. The Lord has blessed me with this time not only to read but also to process the amazing trip that He let me go on. Also, my family took a day to go up to Cedar Point, probably for the last time before I graduate. My goal was to ride all of the roller coasters that I had not yet ridden after the many MANY summers we've spent up there (which I did complete. Took me sixteen years, but I've finally finished up my Cedar Point list, including the fearsome Top Thrill Dragster). But while we were in line for one of the coasters, the Lord once again blessed me in the form of two college aged girls standing behind me. They were wearing shirts for a mission trip they took to Kentucky, so I asked them where they went for their trip and that started a conversation about mission trips and church that lasted a good hour or so. They were from Michigan, and the two of them had actually just met a few weeks ago on their mission trip. Funny how Christ can lead us to our brothers and sisters in completely unexpected ways. We're now facebook friends.
So the Lord has been good to me. I am grateful for all He's done for me and continues to do. I can't believe that summer is almost over. I'll be a junior this year... scary scary thought. But also very exciting. I pray with all my heart that the Lord blows me away this year and gives me the boldness I need to continue stepping out of my comfort zone at school, church, and even at home. More details about my mission trip and trip to Ohio are to come. God bless you all. Any prayer requests?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Break Time
I'll be taking a much needed hiatus from this blog for a while. I realized something tonight that has been plaguing me for a while, though I didn't know what it was until today. I was reading the book "Redeeming Love" and there's a part where the main characters realize that they were trying to play God in their lives. I paused, then read again, and then something clicked. I've been trying to play God too. Not in the same way that the characters did, but through my writing instead. So many times I've taken compliments for my writing for my own ego when in reality it had all been the Lord's doing. I'm tired of thinking of accomplishments as something I've done and not something He's done. I'm tired of boosting my own ego. I'm tired of denying Him. And that's what I've been doing. I've been depriving the Lord of the praise that He should be receiving from me, His daughter. And I'm ashamed. So with this reflection on myself, I've decided that it's time to take a little break from blogging (and writing in general) while I go back to the core of all things and start over. Pray for me while I'm gone, please, and may our Savior bless you in every way.
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be Your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one."
Matthew 6:9-13
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be Your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one."
Matthew 6:9-13
Monday, March 22, 2010
Rich in Faith
It's been 2 years now. It's been 2 years since I went to Kentucky, 2 years since my first mission trip, 2 years since I found myself again, 2 years since God cut through the darkness of my life. It was over spring break of my 8th grade year that our team of junior high students drove for 2 days up to Kentucky in 3 crowded vans (there's a longer story behind that, but I'll save that for another time) to serve the people in the small town of Pippa Passes. It's always around this time of year when my memories of that trip are the strongest. I tend to zone out in class (yes, yes, I know I shouldn't do that) and recall the different events that were all squished together in those 3 short days of service in that community. But when I do zone out, the first thing I will think of is not how our team impacted the area or our experiences, but rather how the people of Pippa Passes impacted us and the suffering the people in that area will go through.
God was extremely good to me on that trip. I was going through a really rough spot in my life, wrestling with some really hard things that had pulled me away from my Savior for so long. And then God led me to Pippa Passes on a mission trip. He led me to the exact area I needed to show me His love and grace. He turned my life around with the book of James (which REALLY kicked my butt, just by the way) and the encouragement of amazing people, and the view of the beautiful world that He created. But He really struck my heart through the absolutely wonderful residents of Pippa Passes. They were so open to our team and grateful that we were there. One of the families we were serving even cooked us a huge dinner one night! And this was a family that didn't have to do this for us, that really didn't have the money to afford to do this for us with all the people they had in the family. They welcomed us into our home and treated us as family. I wanted to cry because they were so loving towards us. Another night we went to a local building where they were having a bluegrass concert. We learned a line dance and danced with the people there and just got to know them. And during the time we were there, the man in charge called us out and thanked us, and everyone in the building cheered and thanked us as well. It's an amazing thing when you go to serve without expecting any recognition or reward and receive a room full of applause. Everyone was so open and loving, but there was more to it than that...
Our 3 days ended strongly, and we started our drive home. I slowly slipped back into my life again, but with a changed attitude. I didn't notice I had changed at all! It wasn't until a year later, when my friend wanted to "interview" me about my mission trip for her journalism class that I was made aware of it. I was just talking about our amazing trip, and my friend made the comment "Yeah, I noticed you had changed when you came back. You were happier." Maybe I was. God had left a permanent mark in my heart. Kentucky and the people there were firmly placed in my heart. I went through the rest of my 8th grade year and a lot of my 9th grade year trying to follow God and remembering Pippa Passes. There was something that kept calling me back to that time, something I wanted to figure out. Then sometime in 2nd semester of 9th grade, a TV special came on about the poverty in the Appalachian region, mainly Kentucky. I immediately cleared my night and sat in front of the TV. And as these stories of 3 people were told, my heart broke and my mind clicked and I cried. I sobbed. We're talking about the type of weeping that takes up an entire box of Kleenex here. And it wasn't the stories themselves that broke my heart, but it was the realization of what I had been trying to figure out for a whole year that made me break. The people we had met in Pippa Passes were already Christians, and I understood their love for us in that sense, but what I had been missing was that staggering amount of faith that each and every person we met had shown through their lives and actions. And the realization that they could have so much faith in God, so much hope for their future with Him, while living in conditions I couldn't imagine is what made me cry.
Matthew 6:21 states that "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." I had once thought that I understood what it was saying. Now as I look back at my short trip to Pippa Passes, I know that I didn't understand it AT ALL! I take things from granted all the time. I complain and ask God why life is so hard. But I'm blessed with my life. I have the privilege of being able to go to college. I don't have to drop out of school so I can help support my family. I haven't had to suffer addiction, abuse, hunger, cold, or any of the terrors of poverty. The people of Pippa Passes are definitely better off than a lot of people in poverty, but the problems of their community is a world I had never been aware of before. And to see the people who had so much less than I had and had to work twice as hard as I will to have a semi-comfortable home, to see their amazing faith in their Savior and Lord to provide for them and protect them was the best thing God could ever have shown me! The people we met had joy. They had trust and love in God. I was somewhat bitter when I met them that spring break, and they taught me what faith in God really was. I have confidence that their joy came from knowing that their treasure was in Paradise with Jesus Christ their Lord.
I can go on countless mission trips, travel to the ends of the world, go to every nation on every continent, but nothing could ever replace what 3 short days in Pippa Passes, Kentucky taught me. God brought me there for a reason: to demonstrate His power, beauty, and incredible love for me. Me! A sinner! Someone who had spent years running from God and ignoring Him! My Lord and Savior loves someone like me! And not only does He love me, but He called people I had just met to love on me and help me along my path, whether they knew it or not. Our God is just incredible that way. He has placed Kentucky deep into my heart, constantly reminding me of the kind of faith He's called me to have. I don't know if He will call me back to Kentucky as a servant or if He will tell to do something much bigger for them, but the thing I do know is that God was there with me in Pippa Passes. I could feel Him in the residents' love, I could see Him in the beauty of His mountains, I could hear Him in everyone's encouragement. He brought me there with a plan in mind and radically changed the way I viewed myself and especially the way I viewed my faith. My treasure is with my Lord now, my heart is beating for Him, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21) My question to you is, where is your treasure?
Some final thoughts:
- I just recently got some wall decals that I really wanted to share with you all! Why? Because they're amazing Bible verses! One is 2 Corinthians 5:7 and the other is actually Matthew 6:21 (this one's on the wall right next to my bed. Great reminder!) I have a feeling that my room will soon be covered in Bible verses, not that I mind.
-Secondly, I've been having a C.S. Lewis splurge this week. He's great, God gave him such a gift! So, when I finish reading all the books I have of his (in the middle of Mere Christianity right now) then I think I'm going to post a blog with my thoughts on them. So yeah, look forward to that if you want.
-Thirdly, God is blowing me away in many ways this week! And I have a feeling more is to come too. God is just amazing like that! I've literally been dancing and singing to the Lord as I never have before.
-Fourthly, I spent this past weekend up in Waco at Baylor with my sister. So much fun! I'm so grateful God gave me this chance to just spend time with Sydney. I love and miss you sis!
And that's it. One last verse before I go because I feel a lot of people might need this sometime soon. Matthew 6:34. God bless you all!
-Allie
God was extremely good to me on that trip. I was going through a really rough spot in my life, wrestling with some really hard things that had pulled me away from my Savior for so long. And then God led me to Pippa Passes on a mission trip. He led me to the exact area I needed to show me His love and grace. He turned my life around with the book of James (which REALLY kicked my butt, just by the way) and the encouragement of amazing people, and the view of the beautiful world that He created. But He really struck my heart through the absolutely wonderful residents of Pippa Passes. They were so open to our team and grateful that we were there. One of the families we were serving even cooked us a huge dinner one night! And this was a family that didn't have to do this for us, that really didn't have the money to afford to do this for us with all the people they had in the family. They welcomed us into our home and treated us as family. I wanted to cry because they were so loving towards us. Another night we went to a local building where they were having a bluegrass concert. We learned a line dance and danced with the people there and just got to know them. And during the time we were there, the man in charge called us out and thanked us, and everyone in the building cheered and thanked us as well. It's an amazing thing when you go to serve without expecting any recognition or reward and receive a room full of applause. Everyone was so open and loving, but there was more to it than that...
Our 3 days ended strongly, and we started our drive home. I slowly slipped back into my life again, but with a changed attitude. I didn't notice I had changed at all! It wasn't until a year later, when my friend wanted to "interview" me about my mission trip for her journalism class that I was made aware of it. I was just talking about our amazing trip, and my friend made the comment "Yeah, I noticed you had changed when you came back. You were happier." Maybe I was. God had left a permanent mark in my heart. Kentucky and the people there were firmly placed in my heart. I went through the rest of my 8th grade year and a lot of my 9th grade year trying to follow God and remembering Pippa Passes. There was something that kept calling me back to that time, something I wanted to figure out. Then sometime in 2nd semester of 9th grade, a TV special came on about the poverty in the Appalachian region, mainly Kentucky. I immediately cleared my night and sat in front of the TV. And as these stories of 3 people were told, my heart broke and my mind clicked and I cried. I sobbed. We're talking about the type of weeping that takes up an entire box of Kleenex here. And it wasn't the stories themselves that broke my heart, but it was the realization of what I had been trying to figure out for a whole year that made me break. The people we had met in Pippa Passes were already Christians, and I understood their love for us in that sense, but what I had been missing was that staggering amount of faith that each and every person we met had shown through their lives and actions. And the realization that they could have so much faith in God, so much hope for their future with Him, while living in conditions I couldn't imagine is what made me cry.
Matthew 6:21 states that "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." I had once thought that I understood what it was saying. Now as I look back at my short trip to Pippa Passes, I know that I didn't understand it AT ALL! I take things from granted all the time. I complain and ask God why life is so hard. But I'm blessed with my life. I have the privilege of being able to go to college. I don't have to drop out of school so I can help support my family. I haven't had to suffer addiction, abuse, hunger, cold, or any of the terrors of poverty. The people of Pippa Passes are definitely better off than a lot of people in poverty, but the problems of their community is a world I had never been aware of before. And to see the people who had so much less than I had and had to work twice as hard as I will to have a semi-comfortable home, to see their amazing faith in their Savior and Lord to provide for them and protect them was the best thing God could ever have shown me! The people we met had joy. They had trust and love in God. I was somewhat bitter when I met them that spring break, and they taught me what faith in God really was. I have confidence that their joy came from knowing that their treasure was in Paradise with Jesus Christ their Lord.
I can go on countless mission trips, travel to the ends of the world, go to every nation on every continent, but nothing could ever replace what 3 short days in Pippa Passes, Kentucky taught me. God brought me there for a reason: to demonstrate His power, beauty, and incredible love for me. Me! A sinner! Someone who had spent years running from God and ignoring Him! My Lord and Savior loves someone like me! And not only does He love me, but He called people I had just met to love on me and help me along my path, whether they knew it or not. Our God is just incredible that way. He has placed Kentucky deep into my heart, constantly reminding me of the kind of faith He's called me to have. I don't know if He will call me back to Kentucky as a servant or if He will tell to do something much bigger for them, but the thing I do know is that God was there with me in Pippa Passes. I could feel Him in the residents' love, I could see Him in the beauty of His mountains, I could hear Him in everyone's encouragement. He brought me there with a plan in mind and radically changed the way I viewed myself and especially the way I viewed my faith. My treasure is with my Lord now, my heart is beating for Him, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21) My question to you is, where is your treasure?
Some final thoughts:
- I just recently got some wall decals that I really wanted to share with you all! Why? Because they're amazing Bible verses! One is 2 Corinthians 5:7 and the other is actually Matthew 6:21 (this one's on the wall right next to my bed. Great reminder!) I have a feeling that my room will soon be covered in Bible verses, not that I mind.
-Secondly, I've been having a C.S. Lewis splurge this week. He's great, God gave him such a gift! So, when I finish reading all the books I have of his (in the middle of Mere Christianity right now) then I think I'm going to post a blog with my thoughts on them. So yeah, look forward to that if you want.
-Thirdly, God is blowing me away in many ways this week! And I have a feeling more is to come too. God is just amazing like that! I've literally been dancing and singing to the Lord as I never have before.
-Fourthly, I spent this past weekend up in Waco at Baylor with my sister. So much fun! I'm so grateful God gave me this chance to just spend time with Sydney. I love and miss you sis!
And that's it. One last verse before I go because I feel a lot of people might need this sometime soon. Matthew 6:34. God bless you all!
-Allie
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Hmmmm.....
This post won't be that long. I haven't had a lot of excitement since Sunday (Baja+ guest speaker= awesome day!) mainly because I've been sick since then. The past few days have consisted of sleep, TV, and then more sleep. Not exactly life changing, and really disappointing after the weekend I had.
First on my list, Baja meeting. So I'm planning on going down to Baja, Mexico this summer for a mission trip with a small team from our church. We're going to be spending a week on a worksite helping build a summer camp for the children in that community as well as doing a VBS for the kids. Then the next week we're doing our adventure part and going kayaking. While I know that this trip itself will be exciting, the part that's really got me fired up is the team I'm working with. God has definitely brought together a great team and I'm really looking forward to seeing Him move through us! We had our first "official" meeting on Sunday, complete with the team building game, discussions, etc. I have to say, it's been awesome to be able to get back into the mission trip groove with the meetings and letters and stuff. I've missed it all year.
Second, our guest speaker. He's been a missionary in Africa for several years, building schools for the areas where most kids are unable to continue schooling even when they passed the national test. It's just sad what those poor kids go through, and hearing a story like this really puts into perspective all that we as Christians should and can do for others. I don't know whether I'm being called to be a teacher in Africa or not, but hearing his story has just been making me think over everything I'm already doing and how much more is possible for me to do through God's power.
But it's really rather disappointing that after such an awesome Sunday, I became sick and had to stay at home. Nausea, sore muscles, a sore throat, a headache so bad I can't concentrate on ANYTHING (feels like a million sledgehammers pounding against my head), dizziness whenever I move even a tiny bit. Seriously, I've had to lean against something or go REALLY slowly when walking just so that my legs won't collapse from under me, not to mention how dizzy I feel when moving. It's been miserable not being able to do anything for these three days (soon to be 4). But from being so weak, I've had to rely on God to get me through the days. While my headache has prevented me from reading my Bible and listening to music, I've been praying a LOT. So I guess being sick was partly a good thing since I've had to learn to lean on God's strength instead of my own.
SO.....yeah. That's it. It was a bit longer than I thought it would be, I probably rambled a lot. Forgive me if I did, my mind isn't exactly in the best condition right now.... On a completely different note, Sydney's home!! I'm just sad I had to be sick when she came home. But hey, spring break is coming up and I'll get to hang out with her at Baylor next Friday and Saturday, so it's not that bad. Hopefully something exciting will happen over spring break, I'm tired of just sitting around the house. Any prayer requests guys?? Love you all.
First on my list, Baja meeting. So I'm planning on going down to Baja, Mexico this summer for a mission trip with a small team from our church. We're going to be spending a week on a worksite helping build a summer camp for the children in that community as well as doing a VBS for the kids. Then the next week we're doing our adventure part and going kayaking. While I know that this trip itself will be exciting, the part that's really got me fired up is the team I'm working with. God has definitely brought together a great team and I'm really looking forward to seeing Him move through us! We had our first "official" meeting on Sunday, complete with the team building game, discussions, etc. I have to say, it's been awesome to be able to get back into the mission trip groove with the meetings and letters and stuff. I've missed it all year.
Second, our guest speaker. He's been a missionary in Africa for several years, building schools for the areas where most kids are unable to continue schooling even when they passed the national test. It's just sad what those poor kids go through, and hearing a story like this really puts into perspective all that we as Christians should and can do for others. I don't know whether I'm being called to be a teacher in Africa or not, but hearing his story has just been making me think over everything I'm already doing and how much more is possible for me to do through God's power.
But it's really rather disappointing that after such an awesome Sunday, I became sick and had to stay at home. Nausea, sore muscles, a sore throat, a headache so bad I can't concentrate on ANYTHING (feels like a million sledgehammers pounding against my head), dizziness whenever I move even a tiny bit. Seriously, I've had to lean against something or go REALLY slowly when walking just so that my legs won't collapse from under me, not to mention how dizzy I feel when moving. It's been miserable not being able to do anything for these three days (soon to be 4). But from being so weak, I've had to rely on God to get me through the days. While my headache has prevented me from reading my Bible and listening to music, I've been praying a LOT. So I guess being sick was partly a good thing since I've had to learn to lean on God's strength instead of my own.
SO.....yeah. That's it. It was a bit longer than I thought it would be, I probably rambled a lot. Forgive me if I did, my mind isn't exactly in the best condition right now.... On a completely different note, Sydney's home!! I'm just sad I had to be sick when she came home. But hey, spring break is coming up and I'll get to hang out with her at Baylor next Friday and Saturday, so it's not that bad. Hopefully something exciting will happen over spring break, I'm tired of just sitting around the house. Any prayer requests guys?? Love you all.
Monday, February 15, 2010
25 miles per hour
Well, tomorrow I turn sixteen. I'll be old enough to get my driver's license and drive on the roads. Considering that, my dad and I have been going out for more drives so I can be ready to take the test within the next month or so. We went out for a two hour drive yesterday, actually, and I was able to drive with speeds up to 50 mph for the second time. It was exhilarating, but also a bit frightening. But anyways, after driving at that speed for a while, we got to a neighborhood area and the speed limit dropped to 30 mph. Then it dropped again to 25 mph. I don't know about you, but after experiencing how fast a car could go, 25 mph seemed so SLOW!!! It felt like torture to have so much power and not being able to use it. But you know what, it was for my own good.
The way I see it, when you speed in a neighborhood, there are three ways that it could end. 1. You get out without any injury and without getting caught. 2. You get caught by the police, or 3. You end up crashing into something. Now think about it. Only one of these outcomes is positive. That's only a 1/3 chance of happening. About 33% chance. Not exactly awesome statistics, huh? That's why there's a speed limit. It's to keep us safe and out of trouble, even if we don't like it. Now apply this to your own life, particularly with parents and rules. We have so many choices in front of us and so many different ways we can go, but some of them aren't the best decisions for us. We may have a lot of power over own lives, but how do we use that power? Do we choose parties over school? A boyfriend over our other friends? Sneaking out over obedience? We all want to grow up so fast and be able to finally be independent from our parents, but sometimes we have to slow down and be cautious. We have to go 25 mph.
Our parents and teachers are like our own personal speed limits. We may not like their rules, but we have to obey them to stay safe. We also need to obey them because that's what pleases God. God tells us in the 10 Commandments to "honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12). Now if something's in the 10 Commandments, obviously it's important to God. Not only that, but it's the 5th commandment, before even not murdering or committing adultery. It must be REALLY important. In fact, it's so important that it's repeated throughout the Bible. There's a section in Romans 13 that talks about submitting to authority. And a section in Ephesians 6 on children and parents. Colossians 3:20 repeats the command. Even 1 Peter 2 has a section on submission to rulers and masters. There are a LOT of sections on obedience to authority. Why is it so important? Well, obviously because it's what best for us and what God wants. Think about it. God gave us parents and teachers to take care of us and to teach us, the same way that He'll one day entrust a new generation to our care. Obedience to them is obedience to the Lord. The Bible says that obeying our parents is pleasing to God. They may take away some of the fun in life, but God tells us to listen to them anyways, for our own sake and His glory. And when you slow down, you'll notice that there are a lot of beautiful things right around you. There are meanigful friendships, good grades, and awesome memories to make! Not to mention the trust of our parents. Consider it a scenic route. It may be slower, but you get to experience the wonderful world God meant for us to know.
On that note, I'm switching to a different topic that I'm really excited about! It's actually just something I did this past week that made me really happy and doesn't really relate to this at all. But I want to share it with you guys anyways. So Katy and I have been reading a book series called the Sierra Jensen books which follow the life of a high school girl and her walk with Christ. I can relate a LOT to her story. Actually, it's a bit scary how well I can relate to her at times. I feel as if the author was really writing about MY life sometimes. But anyways, they've been really beneficial to figuring out a couple of things in my own walk with Christ. So there was a part in the second volume of the books where Sierra writes out a list of things she's looking for in a romantic relationship. She tells her parents and they give her a purity ring. That made me think about how I was approaching dating. So this week, I wrote out my own list and told my parents that I wanted a purity ring. I feel a lot better about my relationships, knowing that I won't just jump into dating without knowing what I'm looking for. I'd definitely recommend all high school girls to read this book and make their own list. It's helped me out a lot personally, and I feel a lot of you girls would benefit from the series as well. (you guys can too if you want to).
Well that's all for now. Any prayer requests?
The way I see it, when you speed in a neighborhood, there are three ways that it could end. 1. You get out without any injury and without getting caught. 2. You get caught by the police, or 3. You end up crashing into something. Now think about it. Only one of these outcomes is positive. That's only a 1/3 chance of happening. About 33% chance. Not exactly awesome statistics, huh? That's why there's a speed limit. It's to keep us safe and out of trouble, even if we don't like it. Now apply this to your own life, particularly with parents and rules. We have so many choices in front of us and so many different ways we can go, but some of them aren't the best decisions for us. We may have a lot of power over own lives, but how do we use that power? Do we choose parties over school? A boyfriend over our other friends? Sneaking out over obedience? We all want to grow up so fast and be able to finally be independent from our parents, but sometimes we have to slow down and be cautious. We have to go 25 mph.
Our parents and teachers are like our own personal speed limits. We may not like their rules, but we have to obey them to stay safe. We also need to obey them because that's what pleases God. God tells us in the 10 Commandments to "honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12). Now if something's in the 10 Commandments, obviously it's important to God. Not only that, but it's the 5th commandment, before even not murdering or committing adultery. It must be REALLY important. In fact, it's so important that it's repeated throughout the Bible. There's a section in Romans 13 that talks about submitting to authority. And a section in Ephesians 6 on children and parents. Colossians 3:20 repeats the command. Even 1 Peter 2 has a section on submission to rulers and masters. There are a LOT of sections on obedience to authority. Why is it so important? Well, obviously because it's what best for us and what God wants. Think about it. God gave us parents and teachers to take care of us and to teach us, the same way that He'll one day entrust a new generation to our care. Obedience to them is obedience to the Lord. The Bible says that obeying our parents is pleasing to God. They may take away some of the fun in life, but God tells us to listen to them anyways, for our own sake and His glory. And when you slow down, you'll notice that there are a lot of beautiful things right around you. There are meanigful friendships, good grades, and awesome memories to make! Not to mention the trust of our parents. Consider it a scenic route. It may be slower, but you get to experience the wonderful world God meant for us to know.
On that note, I'm switching to a different topic that I'm really excited about! It's actually just something I did this past week that made me really happy and doesn't really relate to this at all. But I want to share it with you guys anyways. So Katy and I have been reading a book series called the Sierra Jensen books which follow the life of a high school girl and her walk with Christ. I can relate a LOT to her story. Actually, it's a bit scary how well I can relate to her at times. I feel as if the author was really writing about MY life sometimes. But anyways, they've been really beneficial to figuring out a couple of things in my own walk with Christ. So there was a part in the second volume of the books where Sierra writes out a list of things she's looking for in a romantic relationship. She tells her parents and they give her a purity ring. That made me think about how I was approaching dating. So this week, I wrote out my own list and told my parents that I wanted a purity ring. I feel a lot better about my relationships, knowing that I won't just jump into dating without knowing what I'm looking for. I'd definitely recommend all high school girls to read this book and make their own list. It's helped me out a lot personally, and I feel a lot of you girls would benefit from the series as well. (you guys can too if you want to).
Well that's all for now. Any prayer requests?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Godly Cleaning
Ok guys, I have a confession to make to all of you. I suffer from a small little disorder called DCOIS syndrome (also known as "Doesn't Clean as Often as I Should" syndrome), especially when it comes to my bathroom. Yeah, it's a mess. Is that a crime now? It is? Well, it's a good thing that I learned a way to keep me cleaning then.
Today my mom told me to clean my bathroom. So I did, grumbling the whole time but stiil cleaning. I decided to tackle my bathtub first. So, with a sponge and Clorox Bleach in my hand, I started to beat down my filthy enemy. Funny thing is that I started enjoying cleaning. I realized that everything I did while cleaning could be related back to our relationship with God. I've lost you, haven't I? Let me explain. Think of the Clorox Bleach and sponge as God and our connection to Him. Think of the bathtub as yourself and the grime in it as our sins. Is it starting to become clear now?
Like I said earliler, I suffer from DCOIS syndrome. Because I suffer from it, the grime in my tub was starting to build up and become visible. Gross, I know, but relate it to our sins. When we start sinning we usually start small, something that doesn't change us completely in anybody's eyes. But if not treated, those sins start to grow and pile up and create a huge mess. That's where our God bleach comes in. He gives us what we need to clean up that mess in the form of salvation and love. His redeeming love changes us and makes us want to be better than who we were. However, we can't just rely on God to fix everything and make it all pretty and sparkly again, just like how spraying Clorox won't clean the tub right away either. We have to do work to fix it as well. We need to scrub the grim away a little bit at a time, giving it continuous attention and work. Little by little, it starts to go away. This is true of our faith too. When we accept Christ, we can't just believe that everything is alright and that we don't have to do anything about our past mistakes. This is not true! We have to go back and start fixing everything a little bit at a time by reading the Bible, going to church, and not settling for anything less than the righteousness and purity God wants and calls for us to have. If we don't then our sins will just keep growing, regardless of how many times you accept God into your life.
Living for God is not easy. It never has been and never will be. I know this very well. The enemy will try extremely hard to put some doubt into your relationship with Christ and will use every opportunity to throw obstacles in your path. It's just like your skin becoming irritated because of the bleach. Your skin will start to burn because of it and you have to stop cleaning to go treat it real quickly. It's the same thing with your relationship. The enemy will do something in your life that will create a wound or burn in your faith. Now, I'm not saying to stop cleaning up your sins, but you need to just take time to reassure yourself of God's love for you and to treat that burn the enemy gave you. Go read the Bible, pray, and talk with other christian friends about it. This will help more than you know, I've experienced it several times myself. There is no easy way to live a righteous life, no matter how you look at it. Even if the enemy wasn't attacking, you would still need to scrub the sins away. It's hard work, but extremely rewarding. I may not like cleaning very much, yet when it's all pretty and clean again I find a great happiness and pride inside of me. Now relate that to the cleaning you do for God. Just think of how ecstatic both you and God will feel when you scrub all the sins in your life away! God already loves you the way you are, but He wants us to be pure and righteous as well. Naturally, the enemy wants exactly the opposite. Which is why he'll keep attacking and trying to make those sins grow back. We need to be careful of this and constantly clean up our sins before they have a chance to grow too large and nasty.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I'll never look at cleaning up my bathtub the same way again. In fact, I probably won' t be able to stop cleaning up my bathtub whenever I start feeling tempted because it will remind me of how God wants to move in our lives.
James 1:21, James 3:2, Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 6:10-18, John 8:34
And finally, any prayer requests?
Today my mom told me to clean my bathroom. So I did, grumbling the whole time but stiil cleaning. I decided to tackle my bathtub first. So, with a sponge and Clorox Bleach in my hand, I started to beat down my filthy enemy. Funny thing is that I started enjoying cleaning. I realized that everything I did while cleaning could be related back to our relationship with God. I've lost you, haven't I? Let me explain. Think of the Clorox Bleach and sponge as God and our connection to Him. Think of the bathtub as yourself and the grime in it as our sins. Is it starting to become clear now?
Like I said earliler, I suffer from DCOIS syndrome. Because I suffer from it, the grime in my tub was starting to build up and become visible. Gross, I know, but relate it to our sins. When we start sinning we usually start small, something that doesn't change us completely in anybody's eyes. But if not treated, those sins start to grow and pile up and create a huge mess. That's where our God bleach comes in. He gives us what we need to clean up that mess in the form of salvation and love. His redeeming love changes us and makes us want to be better than who we were. However, we can't just rely on God to fix everything and make it all pretty and sparkly again, just like how spraying Clorox won't clean the tub right away either. We have to do work to fix it as well. We need to scrub the grim away a little bit at a time, giving it continuous attention and work. Little by little, it starts to go away. This is true of our faith too. When we accept Christ, we can't just believe that everything is alright and that we don't have to do anything about our past mistakes. This is not true! We have to go back and start fixing everything a little bit at a time by reading the Bible, going to church, and not settling for anything less than the righteousness and purity God wants and calls for us to have. If we don't then our sins will just keep growing, regardless of how many times you accept God into your life.
Living for God is not easy. It never has been and never will be. I know this very well. The enemy will try extremely hard to put some doubt into your relationship with Christ and will use every opportunity to throw obstacles in your path. It's just like your skin becoming irritated because of the bleach. Your skin will start to burn because of it and you have to stop cleaning to go treat it real quickly. It's the same thing with your relationship. The enemy will do something in your life that will create a wound or burn in your faith. Now, I'm not saying to stop cleaning up your sins, but you need to just take time to reassure yourself of God's love for you and to treat that burn the enemy gave you. Go read the Bible, pray, and talk with other christian friends about it. This will help more than you know, I've experienced it several times myself. There is no easy way to live a righteous life, no matter how you look at it. Even if the enemy wasn't attacking, you would still need to scrub the sins away. It's hard work, but extremely rewarding. I may not like cleaning very much, yet when it's all pretty and clean again I find a great happiness and pride inside of me. Now relate that to the cleaning you do for God. Just think of how ecstatic both you and God will feel when you scrub all the sins in your life away! God already loves you the way you are, but He wants us to be pure and righteous as well. Naturally, the enemy wants exactly the opposite. Which is why he'll keep attacking and trying to make those sins grow back. We need to be careful of this and constantly clean up our sins before they have a chance to grow too large and nasty.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I'll never look at cleaning up my bathtub the same way again. In fact, I probably won' t be able to stop cleaning up my bathtub whenever I start feeling tempted because it will remind me of how God wants to move in our lives.
James 1:21, James 3:2, Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 6:10-18, John 8:34
And finally, any prayer requests?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Relationships
So there's about 3 weeks left until I finally turn sixteen. Scary, right? But, with this in mind, I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God and how it's changed so much since this time last year. Looking back, I've seen exactly how God had moved in my life even when I wasn't aware of it. And all of His actions has led me to become who I am today, led me to trust Him far more than I ever imagined I could.
Only my close friends would remember this, some probably don't even know, but at the beginning of my ninth grade year, I actually had a boyfriend. Although I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend now. We were really just friends that thought a relationship could work and called each other "boyfriend"/"girlfriend". We never even got to talk most of the time when we were "dating". Now, I hadn't approached this relationship in the most christian way possible. I mean, I didn't flirt or try to tempt the guy (all of you know I wouldn't do that! I'm much too shy), but I didn't pray to God about whether this would be right for me or whether it was in His plans for me. All in all, I probably pursued the relationship much more than I should have. Well, obviously it didn't work out. I came to realize that this wasn't what a relationship should be like and that God probably wasn't very enthusiastic about us dating then, so I prayed to God for strength and confirmation that I was making the right choice before calling up my boyfriend and explaining to him that our relationship just wasn't working out and that it would be better to remain just friends. It hurt to do that. I knew I was making the right choice, but I really hated that I might be hurting someone in the process. But now, I realize that God was trying to teach me how NOT to approach a relationship and that He was telling me that I just wasn't ready at that time.
God was right (big surprise? no, not really). From the experiences I've had in just these past two or three weeks, I KNOW that I wasn't ready. God wants us to fall passionately in love with Him first, to put Him first in our hearts and trust Him with everything in our lives. He wants us to realize how important and beautiful we are to Him, and not focus on what that one person you like thinks. Contrary to what we think, no human relationship can complete us. Only God can and only God can make us truly happy. The more in love with God we fall, the more we start to love ourselves and others. He wants us to experience this happiness and this completeness in Him that no human relationship can provide.
I'm turning sixteen in about three weeks. Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. But I'm just fine with that. God is moving in great ways within me, and when God feels the time is right then I am confident that He lead me into the type of healthy, loving relationship that He intends for us to experience.
In other news... the song "How He Loves" from the David Crowder Band has been stuck on repeat all day, whether on my ipod, computer, or even in my head. There's just something in this song that calls out to a part of me. It's an amazing song! One last thing: any prayer requests? :)
-allie
Only my close friends would remember this, some probably don't even know, but at the beginning of my ninth grade year, I actually had a boyfriend. Although I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend now. We were really just friends that thought a relationship could work and called each other "boyfriend"/"girlfriend". We never even got to talk most of the time when we were "dating". Now, I hadn't approached this relationship in the most christian way possible. I mean, I didn't flirt or try to tempt the guy (all of you know I wouldn't do that! I'm much too shy), but I didn't pray to God about whether this would be right for me or whether it was in His plans for me. All in all, I probably pursued the relationship much more than I should have. Well, obviously it didn't work out. I came to realize that this wasn't what a relationship should be like and that God probably wasn't very enthusiastic about us dating then, so I prayed to God for strength and confirmation that I was making the right choice before calling up my boyfriend and explaining to him that our relationship just wasn't working out and that it would be better to remain just friends. It hurt to do that. I knew I was making the right choice, but I really hated that I might be hurting someone in the process. But now, I realize that God was trying to teach me how NOT to approach a relationship and that He was telling me that I just wasn't ready at that time.
God was right (big surprise? no, not really). From the experiences I've had in just these past two or three weeks, I KNOW that I wasn't ready. God wants us to fall passionately in love with Him first, to put Him first in our hearts and trust Him with everything in our lives. He wants us to realize how important and beautiful we are to Him, and not focus on what that one person you like thinks. Contrary to what we think, no human relationship can complete us. Only God can and only God can make us truly happy. The more in love with God we fall, the more we start to love ourselves and others. He wants us to experience this happiness and this completeness in Him that no human relationship can provide.
I'm turning sixteen in about three weeks. Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. But I'm just fine with that. God is moving in great ways within me, and when God feels the time is right then I am confident that He lead me into the type of healthy, loving relationship that He intends for us to experience.
In other news... the song "How He Loves" from the David Crowder Band has been stuck on repeat all day, whether on my ipod, computer, or even in my head. There's just something in this song that calls out to a part of me. It's an amazing song! One last thing: any prayer requests? :)
-allie
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It's strange....
It truly is strange, thinking that only this morning I wouldn't have even considered starting my own blog. A few days ago I was talking about this with one of my friends and said that I had a small urge to start a blog of my own, but I didn't know what about. She said I should write about my walk with Christ. At that time, I wasn't sure that I would be comfortable with telling everyone what was going on in my relationship with Him, not sure I would have the courage. That all changed this weekend without me even realizing it.
I went out with some of my friends on Saturday night to go see a movie called "To Save a Life". Before I go any further, let me take this time to implore all of you to go watch it. That movie is definitely one of the best I have seen in a long time. The main character, Jake, has such an inspiring journey that takes so much courage and faith to follow. I was sobbing through most of the movie because it spoke to me so much. Later that same night, I got on facebook and saw a message in my inbox from one of my best friends. The words I read encouraged me so much through some insecurities I have been struggling with for a while. God's presence became so clear to me and I started to sob for the second time that night. In truth, it was probably Saturday night that changed me once more and gave me the courage to start facing more of my insecurities.
God has used this week to bring me so much closer to Him than I have ever been in my life. I can not thank Him enough for the situations and for the people He has placed in my life. This week has been hard, I will not deny that, but it made me rely on God to help me through and gave me that chance to discover more about His amazing love. I know there will be more trials in my life, but I know that it will all be worth it if i can live my life in service to my savior and Lord. I have faith that He will bring me through and will provide for me. God knows what I need.
Before I end this, are there any prayer requests you have? God bless you!
-Allie
I went out with some of my friends on Saturday night to go see a movie called "To Save a Life". Before I go any further, let me take this time to implore all of you to go watch it. That movie is definitely one of the best I have seen in a long time. The main character, Jake, has such an inspiring journey that takes so much courage and faith to follow. I was sobbing through most of the movie because it spoke to me so much. Later that same night, I got on facebook and saw a message in my inbox from one of my best friends. The words I read encouraged me so much through some insecurities I have been struggling with for a while. God's presence became so clear to me and I started to sob for the second time that night. In truth, it was probably Saturday night that changed me once more and gave me the courage to start facing more of my insecurities.
God has used this week to bring me so much closer to Him than I have ever been in my life. I can not thank Him enough for the situations and for the people He has placed in my life. This week has been hard, I will not deny that, but it made me rely on God to help me through and gave me that chance to discover more about His amazing love. I know there will be more trials in my life, but I know that it will all be worth it if i can live my life in service to my savior and Lord. I have faith that He will bring me through and will provide for me. God knows what I need.
Before I end this, are there any prayer requests you have? God bless you!
-Allie
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